Completely Captured Heart

Destiny Rescue.

This organization has completely captured my heart.
I had never heard of them before about a week and a half ago. I went with my mom to a jewelry party, fully expecting the typical expensive, pretty, oreder-tonight-and-host-gets-a-gift jewelry. I was completely blown away and touched.

Destiny Rescue is an organization that children and young people out of their horrible life. These children are lured or sold into the sex trade. Destiny Rescue then "provides a safe home, where care, love, counselling and hugs abound. These girls and young women receive an education and training, allowing them to rebuild their lives and have a hope for the future once again."


At the jewelry party, I joined Destiny Rescue and became a member in what is called the 26 Second Challange.
A brief summary of this challange:
-Why it's called the 26 Second Challange: Every 26 seconds a child is being lured or sold into the sex trade.
-How I became a member: a one-time gift of $40.
-I received a gorgeous 26 Second Challange necklace! (->)
-What I have committed to as a member: 1) praying for these children. 2) finding two other people to join me in the 26 Second Challange. 3) wearing my necklace for 26 or more days, and whenever asked about it, sharing the plight of these children.

(More about the 26 Second Challange here)

Won't you join me? Please, consider it. It's $40. We spend that much on a 17th pair of shoes, or an 8th pair of jeans. Or even more than that on coffee/ice cream/what ever through a month. When you join me, contact me and I'll give you my member ID so your tree can be part of mine. I know. I sound like...idk...Like a Pampered Chef saleswomen... I'm not just selling something. My heart bleeds for these children. Thoughts of them bring me to tears...

Think about this too: in the minute it took you to read this, two children were lured or sold into the sex trade. In the 26 seconds it takes you to decide if you can afford $40, another child is sold or lured into the sex trade.


I have a friend who is going to spend 2 or more months in Thailand serving with Destiny Rescue. Pray for him. (Taylor's blog) Praise God for his opportunity!




(oh, there's a guys' version of the necklace, too)

Rules

I will not be governed by fear. It will not subjugate me. Rules and laws are to bring freedom, not to be a product of fear.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10

We are clearly told here that we are not to be fearful or live in fear. So, if a rule is set up by an authority [potentially] over you, but it is set up because of their fear... how does this work? I will not be governed by fear... Do I submit myself to the rules of this authority?

"Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men..." -1 Peter 2:13

So, again... How does one know what to do with this? Where is the ballance?

Rearview Mirror and Important Papers

Today I finished coffee school. I came home: Dead tired. Completely exhausted. Giddy at my accomplishment. Having worked my hardest, and done well at what I did. Amazed at what I learned. Sorry that it's over, yet relieved that it is. Hands permeated with the smell of coffee. Knowing what the NEXT step is, but completely unsure of what my future (even near future) holds. New friends having entered my life. Not knowing where I'll be living this fall...
I brought with me my important paper.
All of the sudden....


All I could see was a year ago: Graduation. Exhausted. Giddy. Hard work with accomplishment. Learning. Sorry yet relieved. Knowing only the very next step. Uncertainty. New friends. An important paper.... it was almost a year ago exactly. My life feels like it's made a complete lap around some sort of track.


As I look back over the last year, I am in complete and utter awe at what God has done in my life. I can see ways he's grown and shaped me. Looking at the pains and battles that I've fought, I can only see now looking in the rear view mirror the good that God had for me.

This past year, I've grown up. I've had incredible opportunities that many people much older than me couldn't even begin to have. I've accomplished a lot. I've worked hard. People have come into and have left my life. They've made impacts on me. I've had relationships of all different types. I've driven multiple hour drives by myself. I've gone to college classes and passed them. I've learned better how to get along with and love my family.
But more importantly, my walk with Christ has grown. I've learned (as in TRULY learned, not just head knowledge learned) that my testimony is important and that God doesn't see me as a "smaller trophy" that is less desirable to put on his shelf. God has shown me his love and his sovereignty over and over. He's given me strength. He's blessed me. He's given me friends to speak his truth into my life. He's given me friends and let me speak his truth into their lives.

Yes, this past year has been hard. There have been many nights of crying myself to sleep. There have been times of heartbreak for a friend. There have been times of elation and joy. There has been fun. There has been hard.
...there has been extreme hard...hard that I could see no good in...situations that seem impossible...
Sitting here, right now, alone in my room, the comforting click of the keys on my laptop... I look back. All I can say is that I'm completely overwhelmed and brought to tears at seeing God. I feel his love. I see his work. I know he cares.
I am closer to him and all I desire is to grow closer and closer and closer...

God is so gracious to give us rear view mirrors. They teach us about him. They make us more in love with him. They show us that he knew all along what he was doing.
He never left me. He never abandoned me or left me on my own. He never left me to figure out for myself what I was going to do. He loves me. He gives me strength to carry on.

Take a minute to look in your own rear view mirror, then thank and praise God for what you see of Him in your mirror.

Have you ever just sat and cried because you Wanted God?

SO....
I'm seventeen. I'm graduated from high school... What ELSE would I be spending my time doing but applying to colleges??
NEway...

Today I've been working on "making choices for the rest of my life..." aka looking at, applying to and scheduling visits to colleges, weighing other options for the coming year OTHER than college, etc.

As I was applying to one of the colleges, they have the "write an essay for each of these two questions" section. One of the questions was: Describe how you would like to see your faith grow during your college years.
As I answered this question, I found that it really is an important question to know the answer to, regardless of where I go to college, if I go to college, or what part of my life I'm in.

Here I'll share my answer to this question. (Although I guess it's not so much a QUESTION seeing as there's no "?" in it!! :P)

During my college years, I am hoping and praying that my relationship with Christ will bloom and grow as it never has before. I understand that college (no matter WHAT college I choose, or what denomination that college is or isn’t affiliated with) will not MAKE this happen, but it can significantly impact my growth.
I hope to grow more in love with Christ ‘til I can’t go a day without spending time in his presence and ‘til I long for it like nothing else. I want to become so enraptured with His beauty that it fills my soul. I want to fully understand His love for me until it completely overrides all my desires for human love and acceptance, or worth found in mankind.
I desire to have the kind of relationship with Christ that radiates His love to those around me. I want to stand out in a crowd as someone who is different on the inside and point others to Christ thru my daily life.
So, in summary… I want to grow in my personal relationship with the Lord, I want to increase my “practical application” type time with the Lord (things like prayer and reading my Bible), and I want to have the evidence of my relationship with the Lord grow until it can’t help but be noticed.

Trading My Sorrows!

I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

And we say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning




We sang this song again tonight at youth group: it's one of our favorites both to play as a worship team, and to sing as a youth group.
This song is CRAZY fun... If you haven't heard it... wow, first of all. (Listen! http://free.napster.com/player/?play_id=18814736&type=track ) We love that this song is upbeat. We jump, dance, spin, sing as loud as we can. My one youth leader acts it out and just does anything crazy he can to make those leading laugh... but, do we ever stop to think about this song?

I AM laying down my sorrows... I AM laying down my shame... I AM laying down my sickness... I AM laying down my pain... I'm trading them for the JOY of the LORD!! We don't need to hang on to them. In our goofed up human-ness, we hang on to our sorrow and our pain. We find some sort of comfort and identity in it. But why?? The JOY of the Lord is soo much better! Why do I hang on to my sorrow? We've all experienced Joy at some point - the beginning of spring may bring it, I'm told that having a child brings it; maybe it's a gorgeous day in the sun listening to the birds sing that brings joy - there's no better feeling! Laying down our sorrows, shame, sickness and pain is a choice. God freely offers us His joy, but we have to choose it. I must chose to let His joy reign in me and not let the other define me or drag me down. I must focus on the good.

We say YES LORD YES LORD YES YES LORD!!! Am I truly saying "Yes Lord!"? Am I truly accepting the Joy He has stored up for me? Am I listening to His calls for me to give up those things I hang on to? Have I made the choice?

I am pressed, but I AM NOT crushed! I am persecuted, but I AM NOT abandoned! I am struck down but I AM NOT destroyed! Bad things happen to me, but My God and His Strength and Joy are bigger, stronger and better! He sustains and protects me. I cannot experience anything so that he couldn't or wouldn't protect me. He loves me.
I am BLESSED BEYOND the curse. No matter WHAT happens to me, HIS blessings are FAR greater than any negative that will happen to me!
His Promise WILL endure! He PROMISES to love, protect, cherish, bless, and sustain me. He promises his Strength and Joy. This promise is forever: it will not end, it will not run out.
The sorrow may last for tonight, but with the morning comes HIS joy!!

Oh God...

How am I supposed to ...

God, you love her so much. She hasn't let you down.
She says she drags everyone down and makes them miserable. She says she's failed You too many times. She says when she tries to talk to You, she feels like she's talking to air. She doesn't understand MY love, how could she understand Yours?
She wants me to fix it. She wants me to tell her what to do.
She says she's lost. She says she "just doesn't know what to do any more." She says she doesn't want to die, but it's all she thinks about anymore. She says she's never wanted to cut more...
Thank you for giving her little children who look up to her so she won't. Thank you that you stopped her from taking more pills. Thank you for protecting her and letting us help.

Oh God!
Give me strength. Give me love. Give me wisdom.
How am I supposed to...
God, I am innadequate. I cannot love her. I cannot show her she matters. I cannot show her that her life has meaning.

She's not a drag. She's not unlovable. She hasn't let you down too many times. She's not just talking to air. She's not alone. She's not beyond your reach.

Oh God!
You love her so much.
Is your heart rending in two like mine? Is it racked with pain? Tears stream down your face...
Will you sleep tonight? Can you breathe?

When we cried together, you cried to. When I could not stand, you held me up.

God, give me words to speak. Shine through me. Let me be your arms and feet. Show her your heart.

Oh God!

How am I supposed to....