Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours

Break my heart for what breaks Yours.
Give me Your eyes to see.


These are my prayers every day.
God breaks my heart... but never like anyone else's I know.
People around me talk about how God's broken their heart for the unreached, unbelieving people of the world. This is God's heart. I always hear that THIS is what God wants from His people.

I've known for a long time that's not where my heart is. Don't get me wrong (as people generally do) I want people to come to Christ - it's the most important thing in life!
But my biggest passion?
My passion is for those who are "Saved". They are unreachable because they think they've already got it. They go to church, so they're set. Don't tell them they're not following Christ.

Yes. The Great Commission says "Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations..." (Matthew 28:19, NIV). BUT!!! It does not merely ask that we bring people to a knowledge and acceptance of Christ. It commands us to make disciples. Making Disciples is bigger than converts. It's nurturing and growing people once they're "in the fold."

So. God's heart is obviously (seeing as it's His command to us) not only to bring people to a saving knowledge of Him, but it's also then to continually bring them closer and to not abandon them at the steps of the church in the name of going out to find more to bring to the church.

God's heart breaks for those who don't know Him.
I say God's heart also breaks for those who don't know Him.

My heart is broken for what many other peoples' hearts are not broken for. My heart is broken for what many do not understand.

When I pray "Break my heart for what breaks Yours," I believe that God breaks different peoples' hearts differently. No one person experiences the fullness of God's pain. Another person says God's heart is for the unreached. I say it's for those who don't grasp the fullness of God.
They aren't mutually exclusive. God's heart is for both.
God doesn't give all of His desire/pain to any one person because in our human-ness, we could not handle it.
I believe that God's pain and God's desire for each person is so intense that it would literally and physically break us. God in His graciousness doesn't give us what we ask for. Instead, He gives us a taste of His heart or His "eyes".

Father, Thank You that You don't break my heart with the enormity of what breaks Yours. Thank You that instead You show me what You want from me.
I praise Your caring omnipotence.

Past's Future, Future's Past

I just saw a picture. It was of a Latte Art competition.
Not too long ago a friend told me that it was more exciting that I was going to college than that he was going to college. "Because [I] didn't think [I]'d ever have this opportunity."
Four years ago, I started attending Lakeland Christian Accademy.
I traveled alone to Asia, pursuing a dream - which I didn't even realize til about the time I left.
In barely over a month, I shall be leaving my home, off on my own.

In the past, I never would have seen coming that past's future, which God had planned for me. In my future's past, what did I not see coming in that future?

God, may I truely and readily submit my pasts, futures, presents and dreams to You. Your plans for me are for my good and prosperity, not my harm. Your plans give me Hope.

Home Again

I'm home! I'm tired, by the end of my trip I was very frusterated on a few fronts, I missed my friends and family... but at the same time, I was sorry to leave, I can't wait to some day go back, I have new friends, and I am SO blessed to have been on a trip.
I'll try to write a whole update when I have a chance, but tonight I'm going to bed!
I didn't write more while I was there because the computers I got on wouldn't let me get to my blog... :/
anyway!

Hope to see you all soon!

Arrived!

so! I'm here! The trip has been amazing thus far and my team is amazing. Currently I am in Campong Cham, Cambodia. Yesterday we went to one of the DR locations here and met a bunch of the girls. We worked for a good chunk of the day cleaning the facility. In the evening, we went line dancing by the river and the girls from all the homes joined us.what fun!! Today we will see the sewing school and have some time at the market etc before heading back to Phnom Penh for a couple days.

Prayer requests include:
The heat (which thankfully wasn't too bad for the first couple days)
Bonding with the team
My attitudes (as I might be having a bit of a hard time with one of the team members)
Sleep at night

God has blessed our team this long with health and good travels (for the most part).
I do love you all!!

So this is it! I head out tomorrow morning between 3 and 3:30. My bags are packed, my passport is checked (but as soon as I'm done here, I'll go check it again!), I'm trusting that my team leader has my ticket and whatever is needed for visas.
Prayers have been petitioned for, money has been raised and sent in, Bible is in my backpack.

Prayer requests:
Smooth traveling
Easy adjustment to the timezone and culture when we arrive
Connecting with my group
This will be an intense trip away from my parents, family, and friends
Open eyes and a heart soft and willing to learn

Blessings, friends!

Thailand/Cambodia?! HERE I COME!!

IT'S OFFICIAL!! I'M GOING!!!!

Ok, so it honestly has been official for quite a while now, but as of today, I HAVE THE $3,000!!!!!!!! I serve an awesome God!!
Sunday morning as I got to my church, I around $765 short. By the time I left, I only needed $164! Then I got another donation from some friends and a commitment to cover the rest of what I needed up to $200 from someone ELSE!! Wow!

So, now I'm going!

I have been on quite a few trips in my life. I've been on mission trips and other overseas trips. I've gone with my parents and by myself. But don't get me wrong: this trip will be VERY much something new.

I've never been to this part of the world. I've never been on a mission trip without my parents, or overseas with out "family" (or someone I would consider family, anyway). I have to pack in only a carry on and backpack - which is proving itself to be QUITE the challange (have you SEEN my hair?! How do you expect me to wash it for two weeks - or even just one - with only 3 oz of shampoo?!), etc!

But God is GOOD and God is FAITHFUL! He's proved already that He wants me to go. He'll go with me. He'll provide.

This trip will be AMAZING and LIFECHANGING!!! I'm SO blessed that I am able to go!!

Be Careful

Be Careful who you allow into your heart and deepest parts of you. Once they've been there, they know the way there. It's like riding a bike: once you know how, you KNOW. You'll never forget.

The people you let in will not only know the way in, though... but even if you try to change the way in, they'll know you so well that they know the new way, too. You can't fool them or keep them out.

Don't show someone the secret passage and the hidden key if you don't want them coming in. And make sure if you DO want them, they'll never come back and use that information to hurt you. They'll know how.

Friend

I had a friend who cared if I ate;
I have a Friend who is my Daily Bread.

I had a friend who followed me home to see that I was safe;
I have a Friend who carries me, every step of the way.

I had a friend who put up with my patheticy and tears;
I have a Friend who longs for me to bring the pain to Him.

I had a friend I thought would never leave;
I have a Friend who’s promised “forever” and whose promises ring true.

I had a friend who would text me to say “goodnight”;
I have a Friend who wrote me a book to tell me so much more.

I had a friend who was like a brother;
I have a Friend who is closer than a brother.

I had a friend who meant the world;
I have a Friend to whom I owe my whole world.

I had a friend who told me “I love you”;
I have a Friend who loved me enough to give His life.

Rahab's Lie

Is it ever ok to lie?"
"Wasn't Rahab blessed for her lie?"

These are the kinds of questions that were flying around at my small group this past week; the sermon at church last Sunday had been about the book of Joshua. Many possible answers and thoughts were tossed around...

Joshua 2:1-21
Rahab and the Spies
Then Joshua son of Nun secretly sent two spies from Shittim. “Go, look over the land,” he said, “especially Jericho.” So they went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there.
The king of Jericho was told, “Look, some of the Israelites have come here tonight to spy out the land.” So the king of Jericho sent this message to Rahab: “Bring out the men who came to you and entered your house, because they have come to spy out the whole land.”
But the woman had taken the two men and hidden them. She said, “Yes, the men came to me, but I did not know where they had come from. At dusk, when it was time to close the city gate, they left. I don’t know which way they went. Go after them quickly. You may catch up with them.” (But she had taken them up to the roof and hidden them under the stalks of flax she had laid out on the roof.) So the men set out in pursuit of the spies on the road that leads to the fords of the Jordan, and as soon as the pursuers had gone out, the gate was shut.
Before the spies lay down for the night, she went up on the roof and said to them, “I know that the LORD has given you this land and that a great fear of you has fallen on us, so that all who live in this country are melting in fear because of you. We have heard how the LORD dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to Sihon and Og, the two kings of the Amorites east of the Jordan, whom you completely destroyed. When we heard of it, our hearts melted in fear and everyone’s courage failed because of you, for the LORD your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below.
“Now then, please swear to me by the LORD that you will show kindness to my family, because I have shown kindness to you. Give me a sure sign that you will spare the lives of my father and mother, my brothers and sisters, and all who belong to them—and that you will save us from death.”
“Our lives for your lives!” the men assured her. “If you don’t tell what we are doing, we will treat you kindly and faithfully when the LORD gives us the land.”
So she let them down by a rope through the window, for the house she lived in was part of the city wall. She said to them, “Go to the hills so the pursuers will not find you. Hide yourselves there three days until they return, and then go on your way.”
Now the men had said to her, “This oath you made us swear will not be binding on us unless, when we enter the land, you have tied this scarlet cord in the window through which you let us down, and unless you have brought your father and mother, your brothers and all your family into your house. If any of them go outside your house into the street, their blood will be on their own heads; we will not be responsible. As for those who are in the house with you, their blood will be on our head if a hand is laid on them. But if you tell what we are doing, we will be released from the oath you made us swear.”
“Agreed,” she replied. “Let it be as you say.”
So she sent them away, and they departed. And she tied the scarlet cord in the window.

It was mentioned at small groups about Rahab's belief in God (vs. 8-11) and that this is why she was blessed. (In Matthew 1:5, Rahab is listed in the lineage of Jesus; in Hebrews 11:31, she is listed in the Hall of Faith, etc.) This was the answer we eventually left it at.

However, the more I think about it, there more I think there is another option...

What if Rahab was spared and blessed for these two reasons:
1) she showed kindness to the spies
2) she asked to be spared.

WHAT?!

1) Rahab was not an Israelite. She did not know their laws, or their customs, or what we (having been raised in church, or at least being "churched") would consider to be something that everyone knows.
To her, lying was just part of showing kindness.(vs. 12)
In the same way that we can't expect non-believers to live the same way we do and abide by the same "rules" we do, there is no reason to expect Rahab to behave as a Christian or an Israelite.

2) Rahab specifically asked the spies to be spared "since she showed them kindess). (again, vs. 12)



Maybe, we should ASK God for the things we desire...including blessings.

Oops...

Sooooo... it's now been about two and a half months since I've posted... uups.

ummmm I guess (since I don't have anything deep and amazing to post at this time) I'll just fill you in on my life lately.

Christmas was really good, if difficult. There were many hard things to work through, but it was so good to see family and the break we got in FL.

I am now planning (officially) on going to college this fall... but that's as much info as I have for you at the moment.
I'm not planning on majoring in Theatre anymore, but I don't know what I DO want to major in, either. And because of that change, I don't really know where I want to go...
For this morning (I'm sure it'll change soon) I'm leaning toward going to Cornerstone in Grand Rapids and majoring in Photography, minoring in Theatre... God show me what you want!
I'm scheduled to take my ACT on Febuary 12th, but am nervous since I haven't done anything "school-ish" for two years AND I'm not a great test-take-er...

Since I've decided to go to college, I'm not planning on moving out or getting a puppy at this point. Yeah it's minor, but to me it's huge. I had spent the last however many months looking for options and dreaming about living on my own: that was tough to give up.



Biggest news in the near-er future: I'm going on a mission trip with Destiny Rescue!! :D
Right now I'm waiting on them to set the dates for the trip, at which point I'll officially apply, but they've already told me there's no reason I won't be accepted.
The trip will be to Thailand and Cambodia with lots of traveling around while there. It will be about two weeks and will cost around $3,000. I'll let you know more details as they come.

In the mean time, Starting this week (except not because I was too exhausted and the roads were rumored to be horrible) I plan to volunteer at Destiny Rescue one afternoon a week after work. I'm not sure what I'll be doing...

Ummm... there's a lot more I could say, but it's really not relevant to any or you, so I'll refrain for now.

Prayers always coveted and freely offered