In Those Moments

Sometimes the pain is too much. Sometimes all we are is mad at God. Sometimes it just doesn't make sense.

In those moments, we don't want to worship. We don't want to praise. We know God loves us, but we don't feel it... (or is it that we don't feel like we love Him?) All we have to hold on to are the "knows". Despite it all, we know that God is good. We know that He loves us. We know that He's got it under control. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
In those moments, we barely hold on by a thread, but we do hang on. He gives us the strength we need. As we run to Him, He draws us in and pours out His goodness, strength, mercy, comfort and love onto us.

Our anger, questions and hurt are not more than He can bear. It's ok. He knows. While we are angry, we know in our heart of hearts that He is good. While we don't understand, we know that He is working in us to make us into the men and women He wants us to be.

Yet, in those moments, we choose to worship and we choose to hold on to His promises. We don't want to, but it's what He has required of us and we know that it is how we will make it. We choose to run to Him in our pain, when we want to run away.

He is good. He is all we need. When we cannot handle it, we choose Him anyway. We run to Him. Not because we can or because we want to, but because we know we must. We know that's the only way we'll make it through. We choose those things which we know.

Awestruck

Filled with wonder,
Awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your Name
Jesus, Your Name is Power
Breath, and Living Water
Such a marvelous mystery

As we sang Revelation Song tonight, this verse really struck me. Who among us is actually "awestruck with wonder" simply "at the mention of [Jesus'] name"?? We should be. He is worthy of such awe. Yet here we sit.
We hear people use His name in vain. We as Christians often throw His name around as if it were a magic cure-pill. Does the mention of His name strike us with awe? Are we taken aback (one definition of "taken aback" is "said of a ship, when the wind, suddenly changing, forces the sails aft against the mast.") by the thought of Him?

Jesus is more than we can ever think. I was recently in a conversation with some girls who were raised overseas on the mission field. As they talked, I was struck with the power my God has. They spoke of the spiritual warfare and spiritual movings in their home countries, of people who would discuss good and bad spirits in a place, of the ways parents would use the spiritual world to keep their kids in line... As the continued to relate their experiences, I struggled with fear of what I didn't understand. Of what I knew was real and powerful.
I began praying and I remembered that my God is bigger. The battle is already won. Oh! The POWER that My God has!!!
Yet, how often do we pray that way? Do we not instead say "Oh, God. Could you do this or do that? If it's your will..."? At that point, we proceed to not really expect Him to work. What would our world look like if instead we prayed in the power of the God we claim?? What if we understood that the battle is already won?!

The very NAME of Jesus, of our God, should fill us with awe. It should knock us back, as if the wind had suddenly changed directions!
Have you imagined, lately, what it would be like to walk into God's throne room? I challenge you to re-read the descriptions of the throne room of Heaven in Revelation 4. Stop and take the time to vividly imagine the scene. You wouldn't even be able to stand on your feet.

So let the very NAME of Jesus, of our God, should fill you with awe. It should knock us back, as if the wind had suddenly changed directions! Pray in the POWER that comes in His name. Dwell on those thoughts.
Dwell in Him.