Sitting here, yet again, watching everyone go off for the life I think I want...It looks like all that... but my live's been chosen.
I'm stuck: I'm no longer a child, I'm not yet an adult. How am I supposed to live my life? I want to move out because I'm adult; I want to stay home because I'm a child.
I want someone who needs me. I want somewhere to be involved - to make a difference... I want to make a difference in one specific area of Warsaw. I want to go overseas and make a difference in the life of someone who has no chance at life. I want to minister to a girl who's alone and scared... so here I sit, in my comfortable house, in my messy room with too much stuff, money sitting in my bank account...
On one hand, I want someone just to see that everything's not going as well as they think. But at the same time, if anyone does, I feel selfish - like they shouldn't be paying attention to me...
In agony, my heart cries out.
Stretching, reaching, it reaches to You.
You seem so far, but You're right with me.
I miss You, desire You, want none but You...
Yet overwhelmed by the hardships I endure,
I run away instead.
Though Your protection is all around me,
I feel as though I live a solitary existance.
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